Children and spouses store misdemeanors until they add up to felonies. That is a thing we must all struggle with aptly put. Somehow naming it makes it easier to navigate.
In complete agreement with the previous respondents, I must note that we subscribers were right to give you carte blanche with your pen. Fragrance alone would keep us from your narrative wisdom.
Made me think about Mozart in the Amadeus movie - some people seem to feel the urge to burst any bubble of seriousness. The urge is so strong it defies all reason. So people have it with spilling secrets. The contrary can be also true - some people would never ever be able to act informal or tell a proper joke. That aside - death makes everything finite and sometimes even changes meanings. From the photo I infer that last meeting happened in Ramatuelle, on top of the mountain, magic little town I've visited when it was raining and there was literally nobody in the streets and only some locals in the cafe at the piazetta (great place btw). Thank you for your writing.
I suddenly remembered it yesterday and felt the horror vividly all over again. I went there with my girlfriend and we ran off asap. She could not believe what happened.
Aside from the social embarrassment (I heard a great expression recently: ‘I cringed so hard my backside jumped up into its own backside’) do you think you were unsettled because someone you admired seemed to be identifying their own qualities in you?
I'm so struck by the power of the ruthless last sentence, "In the event, neither decay nor wisdom reached him." Those in whom the child eternally lives can be so precious, so alluring, yet so unsatisfactory. Jung once said, "I am not, thank God, a Jungian," and neither am I, but "The problem of the Puer Aeternus" by Marie-Louise von Frantz might be the best book to come out of that tradition and talks about this type with perception. (And she belongs to a time when it was assumed that all educated people were familiar with the life and works of Goethe, whom she uses as a contrasting type; for the Puer she analyzes The Little Prince.) It's interesting to see how the father who could never attain gravitas spurred on the son to acquire that rare gift. It reminds me of Edith Wharton's phrase, life's indefatigable renewals. From a technical point of view, the writing is a model of how to present a short biography and build it to a shattering conclusion. Is it possible to build a whole book out of these short masterpieces of narrative psychology?
Thank you for these immensely moving remembrances & family stories. They are beautifully written. My husband has been (still is) hosting a trade delegation in Japan, and so we’ve been absurdly busy (he is a sister-states delegate & on our national hide, skins & leather board; leather & tanning trade delegation stuff). I’ve not been able to be active online recently; please know we follow all your posts with great care, regardless of our busy schedules.
What a beautiful insight and reflection in your desire to understand your dad. I think the older we get, the more we resolve to accept the shortcomings of our parents - to step into their shoes and say yes, I get it. To forgive them, and hopefully come to some form of peace?
I loved my parents deeply and miss them so much. But as with all kids, I think I expected more, wanted more, questioned. They're only human, and flawed at that, as we all are! God help us!
Children and spouses store misdemeanors until they add up to felonies. That is a thing we must all struggle with aptly put. Somehow naming it makes it easier to navigate.
In complete agreement with the previous respondents, I must note that we subscribers were right to give you carte blanche with your pen. Fragrance alone would keep us from your narrative wisdom.
😀 Thank you !
Poignant and profound and as always beautifully written.
Thank you.
“Children and spouses store misdemeanors until they add up to felonies.”
If only we could see a way out of our patterns, it’s cruel enough that we can see them …. But a new path or way…. At times feels unreachable.
Made me think about Mozart in the Amadeus movie - some people seem to feel the urge to burst any bubble of seriousness. The urge is so strong it defies all reason. So people have it with spilling secrets. The contrary can be also true - some people would never ever be able to act informal or tell a proper joke. That aside - death makes everything finite and sometimes even changes meanings. From the photo I infer that last meeting happened in Ramatuelle, on top of the mountain, magic little town I've visited when it was raining and there was literally nobody in the streets and only some locals in the cafe at the piazetta (great place btw). Thank you for your writing.
Perceptive and profound as ever, Moni. Thank you.
There is no other way I can put it - your writing is a gem. Thank you.
Thank you for your kind words.
Thank you for sharing! Everyone benefits when we tell our family stories- makes us feel not so unique in our issues.
The embassy incident gave me goosebumps. It’s the stuff of nightmares, more so as no malice seems to have been intended. Such an involving read
I suddenly remembered it yesterday and felt the horror vividly all over again. I went there with my girlfriend and we ran off asap. She could not believe what happened.
Aside from the social embarrassment (I heard a great expression recently: ‘I cringed so hard my backside jumped up into its own backside’) do you think you were unsettled because someone you admired seemed to be identifying their own qualities in you?
No, I was simply clueless.
Thank you for this Luca, very touching.
I'm so struck by the power of the ruthless last sentence, "In the event, neither decay nor wisdom reached him." Those in whom the child eternally lives can be so precious, so alluring, yet so unsatisfactory. Jung once said, "I am not, thank God, a Jungian," and neither am I, but "The problem of the Puer Aeternus" by Marie-Louise von Frantz might be the best book to come out of that tradition and talks about this type with perception. (And she belongs to a time when it was assumed that all educated people were familiar with the life and works of Goethe, whom she uses as a contrasting type; for the Puer she analyzes The Little Prince.) It's interesting to see how the father who could never attain gravitas spurred on the son to acquire that rare gift. It reminds me of Edith Wharton's phrase, life's indefatigable renewals. From a technical point of view, the writing is a model of how to present a short biography and build it to a shattering conclusion. Is it possible to build a whole book out of these short masterpieces of narrative psychology?
Thank you Bill. I feel lest I anger the gods I should spend the next 10 posts talking about my own failings and failures.
Dear Mr. Turin,
Thank you for these immensely moving remembrances & family stories. They are beautifully written. My husband has been (still is) hosting a trade delegation in Japan, and so we’ve been absurdly busy (he is a sister-states delegate & on our national hide, skins & leather board; leather & tanning trade delegation stuff). I’ve not been able to be active online recently; please know we follow all your posts with great care, regardless of our busy schedules.
Best wishes & looking forward to reading more!
What a beautiful insight and reflection in your desire to understand your dad. I think the older we get, the more we resolve to accept the shortcomings of our parents - to step into their shoes and say yes, I get it. To forgive them, and hopefully come to some form of peace?
I loved my parents deeply and miss them so much. But as with all kids, I think I expected more, wanted more, questioned. They're only human, and flawed at that, as we all are! God help us!